i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
