First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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