There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
