then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
