SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
