last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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