I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
