nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
