Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
