Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
