Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
