He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
