Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize