i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
