Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Are we still banned from the library?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
