i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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