I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
