New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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