i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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