I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
the liver wants what the liver wants
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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