Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize