omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
