I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
