I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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