In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
