I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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