The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize