its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
