People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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