went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize