Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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