tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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