I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm having to shit out rocks
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
