I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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