stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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