Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
