sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
