Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
