should my penis look like a turkey
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
