I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
