he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
