It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
