thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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