I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
