Non-Jews are for practice
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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