so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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