I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
