so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
