I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
