they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize