I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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