what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No stitches, just platelets and will power
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
