i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
