I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
