If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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