we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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