hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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