How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
