Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
