You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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