ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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