i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
