She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
